Straight Line of the Day: Turns Out Google Is Spending Billions of Dollars on…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Turns out Google is spending billions of dollars on…

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The Illustrated Frank J: Basic Sesame Street Concept. Not Sure Why They Struggle With It

[source]

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Random Thoughts: Disney, Solar Cells, and Climate Change

When people are freaking out about Trump, the question always is is this a new awful thing he’s doing, or is this an old awful thing that people used to ignore but are now making a fuss because it’s Trump who is doing it?

I’d rather keep Trump than go back to an Obama and ignore these things again.

We never have political arguments at Thanksgiving. Everyone just listens and nods as I explain politics to them.

Trump makes it harder to pretend our government isn’t stupid.

Why are all the people with all the correct political views they need to impart on to others such horrible, angry people? Seems better to have bad political views and be nice and happy.

I never realized how useful the dog was in cleaning up under the table where the kids sit.

I’ve yet to watch one of these Disney live-action remakes. There’s something so craven about them.

“Here’s my new invention. I call it the solar cell. It can convert light to electricity.”
“Wow! This is revolutionary! There must be countless applications for this!”
“I’m thinking mainly cheap calculators.”
“There must be more things than that.”
“Nah. Not really.”

When they gave out the Nobel Prize in physics for the theory of relativity, how did they not make that not sound sarcastic?
“Good going, Einstein!”

I don’t trust your outrage.

The male/female distinction was invented by religious extremists in the 1950s.

I talked to the 300 scientists who wrote that climate change report, and they’re all idiots. Every single one. One even said that The Last Jedi was his favorite Star Wars movie.

I had to stop going to hipster coffee shops because I got sick and tired of hearing people talk about how great President Trump is. I really don’t care for him.

I’m not worried about climate change because if it really is a problem we’ll come up with some new technology like giant robots that fight each other. I mean, that won’t solve climate change but it will give us something else to worry about.

I got a sound sensor to wire up to an Arduio. I’m going to build a device to warn my 5yo son when he’s being too loud.

Twitter would never ban me because denying people my awesome tweets would be cruel and unusual punishment under the Geneva Convention.

Got a USPS package update yesterday of “Carrier is unable to gain access to front door to deliver the package.” Is that just code for them deciding to not even bother driving to my house?

If you keep encouraging Disney, next they’ll do cartoon versions of the live action versions of their cartoons.

When the ruling class gets insecure in their beliefs, they try to silence dissent hoping to be confronted less with that insecurity.

I don’t like this Beto stuff. Maybe the left have trained me too well, but I find people getting overly excited about a bland, privileged white guy really creepy.

Judge people’s character not by their high ideals of how to treat humanity in general but by how they treat actual, specific people.

I’ve never seen Idiocracy, but I feel like I get the gist of it.

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Leading Cause of Death

In New Zealand, 145 pilot whales were found dead on the beach after a mass stranding.

Unbelievable! They ALL had dirt on Hillary Clinton?

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Tuesday Night Open Thread

Old songs are the best.

[The YouTube]

What’s been on your mind? Got something you’d like to share? A topic to discuss? It’s Tuesday Night Open Thread.

Who wants to start?

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You Become What You Think About

Recent Google patent applications indicate that the company is developing smart-home products that are capable of eavesdropping on us throughout our home in order to learn more about us and better target us with advertising.

Hope the algorithm is up to snuff, or angry liberals are going to see nothing but ads for Trump merchandise.

[title reference link]

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About As Exciting As You’d Expect for a Movie About a Textbook

[Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them Pitch Meeting] (Viewer #205,855)

Note: the review strays onto a crude topic because the movie does.

Full disclosure: everything Potterverse leaves me a little cold because all the characters are both flat and unlikable, but this movie I actively disliked, mostly for the reasons covered in the video.

Also, all the characters are flat and unlikable.

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Link of the Day: Some Jigsaw Puzzles Use the Exact Same Cutting Template. Mashup!

[High Praise! to Tim Klein]

Puzzle Montage Art by Tim Klein

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Trump Truths: RBG

Although President Trump does enjoy trolling the left, there is no truth to the rumor that he’s actually proposed replacing Ruth Bader Ginsburg with Ruth Bader Ginsburg just to see how CNN will oppose it.

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I Don’t Condone Vandalism, But Soviets Don’t Believe in Private Property, So I Think This One’s a Wash

[High Praise! to Earthly Mission]

“According to a report by the Moscow Times, pranksters in Bulgaria are repainting Soviet-era monuments so that Soviet military heroes look like American Superheroes”

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Straight Line of the Day: An Astrologer Predicts That, In 2019, President Trump…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

An astrologer predicts that, in 2019, President Trump

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The Illustrated Frank J: Flip-Flop

[source]

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Shotgun. Rocking Chair. Porch. Some Assembly Required

In a startling demographic shift, old people will soon outnumber children for the first time in history.

Poor kids. They won’t have a single blade of grass to stand on.

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Monday Night Open Thread

When I went to Egypt several years ago, I had the opportunity to go inside the Great Pyramid. I wrote about it on my little blog back in 2006:

… When we got to the top, it was pitch black. I didn’t have a light, but some were coming behind me. I stood up and felt along the wall on my left. I slowly inched along, feeling the wall and shuffling along the floor. Still dark. After several tentative steps, I grew a little bolder, taking larger steps and moving further. Others came in, some with chem-lights. They stood back waiting for their eyes to get adjusted to the dark. I continued moving along, then felt the edge of the wall. Instead of reaching an inside corner, I had reached an outside corner. The wall on my left angled 90 degrees to the left. So I felt around the corner and stepped onto … nothing.

The ground wasn’t there! I had already committed to the step and couldn’t stop. I was in an Ancient Egyptian Pyramid, it was dark, and the floor had disappeared. Every trap that Indiana Jones had ever encountered came to my mind. I was going to fall into a grave-robbers trap and never see anyone again. …

Spoiler: I survived.

What reminded me of this? Well, I saw a video about ancient booby traps.

[The YouTube]

Do you have something you’d like to share? A link? A joke? Some words of wisdom? A topic to discuss? It’s Monday Night Open Thread.

What’s on your mind?

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Careful What You Wish for

A new report based on a secret trove of seized Iranian nuclear documents shows that Iran had concrete plans to manufacture and build at least five nuclear weapons.

Seems like such a waste of time. I’m sure President Trump could be persuaded to deliver at least 5 nuclear weapons right to their doorstep.

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